Neglecting my erotic self

First off, I love this blog. I love Cassandra and all she stands for. She is my alter ego and, until not that long ago, was my naughty little secret. When I wrote erotica as Cassandra I was thrilled, aroused, sexually explorative and, well, sometimes barely dressed. 😇

But then lockdown happened. Three times for almost 16 consecutive months. The family was home 24/7 which severely impacted my naughty thoughts.

Also, I lost a couple of muses along the way. Maybe that’s the pandemic’s fault, maybe it’s just life moving along, I don’t know. I haven’t felt erotic and therefore haven’t written a lot of erotica.

I miss it. A lot. And I have no intention of giving it up completely.

Those of you who have followed me for a while know that I have upped my writing into various forms of kink and some BDSM. I still fantasize about new stories, but again, it’s been challenging to get in the mood.

I don’t need interruptions which have been abundant… The family tried to be respectful of my need to write, but I didn’t have a room with a door to lock myself into. The fact that I wrote next to the kitchen where teenagers spend 80% of their awake time… Well, you get the picture. 😊

I put everything erotica, kink and sexy thoughts on hold.

But not completely. While we were locked down some major shifts happened in my life. Without getting into all sorts of dramatic details, I am now living with my mom at her house, the same house I grew up in. I see the family still, and parent the kids from afar with regular visits back to the house, but essentially, I have moved out.

My room has a door that locks where I can be in undisturbed for longer than was possible in my own very small and awkwardly laid-out house.

My mom texts me if she needs something rather than knocks on the door to which is super helpful. And she doesn’t know about my wayward thoughts aka sexy writing (or if she does, she doesn’t say much)… 😶

Point is, I still want to write erotica. And I will again. 😈

Meanwhile, it’s been suggested to me to stop giving away everything for free. I write a lot, and I get a lot of compliments. Well, this girl has bills to pay just like everyone else, so I looked at various income streams online, as one does.

As you know, I wrote a book.

I’ve sold copies and got a great review, but my marketing skills suck which means I dropped the ball. I will likely write a sequel to The Man from the South and perhaps repackage both books under my own name (rather than the pseudonym) and sell them together. We shall see.

By all means, if you like a bit of kink, a lot of mystery, and sexual arousal without actual sex among the protagonists, buy my ebook. It’s $2.99 at Smashwords but also available in other places. Click here to see the list.

Another thing that happened was I ‘come out’ from behind my pseudonym. When this website’s yearly subscription ends I will not pay to renew it again, and let it lapse into its free version. I’ll keep some of the content up, but to be honest, I feel my writing has improved beyond the free blog option here.

I have an erotica tab at my regular/main website and have imported some of the stories into that page. They either link to this blog, or to my Medium account.

Over on Medium, Kelly has a publication called All Things Sex and Erotica and invited me to contribute my erotica stories, which I did (I cross-posted some of the ones from here on her publication).

I also started my own Medium publication called If Not Now, When?

There are several tabs, including a sexuality one. I wrote a bunch of essays and called them Learning sex. They talk about what it was like for me when I became sexually active at the end of high school and into University (hint, I was a late bloomer). Mostly they’re about those awkward first sexual experiences we all go through.

I will branch out and address the midlife sexual (re)awakening later (I’m working in chronological order).

I joined Medium’s partner program which is metered. If you have an account over there and/or would like to read some of my essays, I’d appreciate a clap and a follow.

I’ve written other content with sex as the primary focus. For instance, my latest post I published was all about nude selfies. It’s called The nudity experiment. 😊

One more note: On my main website, Writer of Words etc, I started a premium content for subscriber which asks for a small fee. I took some stories I wrote from this blog and improved them. In some cases I sent them out (contests, publications) and if they came back rejected, I decided to publish them myself.

For example, Erotic Alliance is a story I wrote for this blog and improved significantly recently. Some of you will recall this little piece of flash fiction where the man is fantasizing about a woman who sent him a seductive selfie via email. The original story was much less developed, the characters remained nameless, and the entire thing needed improving (it was one of my first stories as Cassandra – I think I have developed my style quite a bit since then).

Anyway, I put it on the paywall… $3 to read it here if you are so inclined. Thank you for considering it… it’s a one-time fee, not a monthly subscription, and you have the option to choose your own amount as you see fit.

I have a huge list of other, similar stories I will post for subscribers ready to release. Stay tuned…

Thank you for your readership, your follows, your likes and especially your comments and emails. Words fail me to adequately express my gratitude toward your support and encouragement. It took me two years (and counting) to reach a point of true authenticity. I still feel a bit shy and awkward at times expressing my vulnerability, but every once in a while, someone sends some positive vibes in my direction and I feel newly encouraged to keep writing smutty stories. 🙃

If you’ve acted as a muse for me in the past, thank you. Without you, I would not be where I am today.

Yours truly and faithfully,

Cassandra ❤️
aka Claudette, Write if words etc.

2 thoughts on “Neglecting my erotic self

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